Time Flies

I actually took the time to sit down and write in my journal last night. I also keep little journals for my children. And I took the time to write in those as well. And as I was looking through them I realized that the last time I had written in my children's was the beginning of September, and mine- the end of September- 3 months ago almost to the day. Sad how time slips away from you. And you don't even notice it.

The last entry in mine was the day I found out that we were absolutely not getting our babies. And I read it and relived all the heartache. I wrote in the girl's journal a couple weeks before that and was talking about how I had just found out that the newborn we were hoping to get was a girl. And how fun it is to have sisters and what a blessing they are and how I truly treasure mine (even when they bug me). And how I couldn't wait to see my 2 girls together. My heart broke. All over again. And I cried. And mourned for the sisters that will never get be. For my two girls that will never know one another. And I had to wonder once again why the Lord allowed the outcome to vary from the answer I feel I received to my prayers. And then I have to remember the faith I am supposed to have, and just move forward-
HOPING that there is something waiting around the corner.
KNOWING that they Lord is aware of me.
PRAYING that I can continue to accept His will.
REALIZING that I can overcome this. (because I am)
UNDERSTANDING that all things happen for our good.
CHERISHING the two sweet angels that have already blessed my home.
and WAITING. Always waiting. And hoping.

And I am grateful for the space of the last 3 months. Because I didn't notice how long it had been. Because in the last 3 months life did NOT end. And I am continuing on. And I know it's going to OK. Because, so far, it has been.