My boy is a pretty cute kid. He has a smile that could melt your heart. He is the sweetest, most giving, most sharing child. He adores his sister. He loves to give loves. He just LOVES. period.
My boy is a pretty big turkey. He would as soon smile at you as hit you. He is mischievous. He NEVER passes up an opportunity to bug his sister. He knows what to do and not to do. He'll choose to do what he shouldn't. He will look straight at you and smile while doing it.
We love him AND we don't know what to do with him. All at the same time. *sigh*
Today he said he hates me. He told his sister. Not me. I was out of the room. I did not cry- like the time the girl said that she wished her birth mom was still her mom. It bothered me more that he has been saying this ALL WEEK to people, than that he said it about me. It has, usually, had something to do with not getting his way. This evening, I'm sure I made him do something he did not want to (or wouldn't let him do something he did want to). It is sad that he said that, yes, but oh well. I know he's trying to learn how to express his frustration. But that is not the appropriate way. So I had to do a little more than tell him, "it's not nice to say that".....AGAIN. I told him that he needed to go to bed for saying such ugly words. I told him that I loved him. I put him in bed. I handled it really well, I think.
He cried and threw a GREAT BIG fit. It was a doozy! The crying lasted for about 2 hours. I did not give up. He stayed in his room. And I remained calm! It was AWESOME! (the fit and my calm-ness) And, for once, I feel that I disciplined my child without coming away feeling like a bad mom. Because I did not let the emotions control me. Who knows if the boy learned anything at all. But I know I did!!!!
By the way- how the heck do you get a child to QUIT throwing fits? He is a master at it. And I think it's long past time for them to stop. Any suggestions?
2 comments:
Oh my goodness, that sounds exactly like Anders! I really think it is part of the age and trying to get attention. I always figure when my kids act like that then I am not giving them enough attention and love. Anders has told me he hates me and I always smile and tell him, "But I LOVE YOU! and he's not sure what to say after that. My problem with Anders is that he will go in his room and throw things, kick the wall and be very aggressive and angry. It's like you said though, just keep your cool and be consistent with discipline. I have a long ways to go but I really think that is the answer. It feels good when we feel in control, doesn't it?
You are a great mom. Congrats on controlling the emotions. I think I am still working on that one. If you find the answer to stopping the fits, send them my way. We need that help too.
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