A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office, was asked by the woman Recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is, " explained the Recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ....?"?
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," Said the Recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field ?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates”?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
So I read this. And I thought it was a really cute story. And I got a little chuckle out of it. But almost INSTANTLY after reading it I thought, "But what's wrong with just being called a Mom?" Note that I did NOT say "being JUST a mom", I said "just BEING a mom." There is a BIIIG difference. I am a mom. That is the career I have chosen for myself. And my husband has agreed to help me pursue. And by replacing the word mom with some fancy title, am I not trying to be more like the career women I am trying so hard to distinguish myself from? Do I need that fancy title to justify to others, who's business it is NOT, what I have chosen to do?
Like I said- this is really cute. I like it. If I didn't I wouldn't be sharing it with you. But even at that- I'm happy to just be plain ol' mom.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is, " explained the Recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ....?"?
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," Said the Recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field ?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates”?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
So I read this. And I thought it was a really cute story. And I got a little chuckle out of it. But almost INSTANTLY after reading it I thought, "But what's wrong with just being called a Mom?" Note that I did NOT say "being JUST a mom", I said "just BEING a mom." There is a BIIIG difference. I am a mom. That is the career I have chosen for myself. And my husband has agreed to help me pursue. And by replacing the word mom with some fancy title, am I not trying to be more like the career women I am trying so hard to distinguish myself from? Do I need that fancy title to justify to others, who's business it is NOT, what I have chosen to do?
Like I said- this is really cute. I like it. If I didn't I wouldn't be sharing it with you. But even at that- I'm happy to just be plain ol' mom.
5 comments:
i felt the same way when i read this: why not say you are a mom? and be proud. there is no need to dress it up, disguise it with a fancy title. just a mom. and loving it.
It has taken me 6 years of being a mom, but I realized last Christmas (as I was making gingerbread houses courtesy of a financial group we use, sitting across from mom's who were doctors and lawyers) that I am not intimidated by educated, career women. We had interesting conversation, shared funny stories, and just enjoyed each other, even though we lead different lives. I didn't envy them or judge them, and if they were condescending to me, I didn't notice. We were just moms decorating gingerbread houses. It was key to me to see that I am happy, fulfilled, and proud to be a mom! I have my degree, I could have a career, but I love being home, and I love that my husband supports me so I can be home. We just need to be happy with who we are! Thanks for the post! It got me thinking!
I have always loved being "MOM". There isn't a better "job" in the world..very demaning but more than rewarding, espically when you get to my age..you see the fruits of your labors and they exceed anything you could ever imagine and they just keep on giving! Thank you children. I have always been a little put off when asked for my occupation and had only the choice of "housewife"..goodness sakes, I'm not married to the house! Thanks for the post Nat. It does put it in terms that the world can understand but does not comprehend...laaf mom
Great story! Thanks for sharing it and I totally agree with you too!
I love it! I've been known to write in the spot -domestic goddess! How does that sound?
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